Challenges and change help to strengthen love
Ross and Ruth at Bundaberg Arts Centre in front of Ross ' s art exhibition, 'Diverse'.
Ross Barber, 40, set off on a motorbike ride near his home in the Blue Mountains 14 years ago. The ride changed life forever for Ross, his wife Ruth and their young family.
Ross came to after seven weeks in a coma. Most of his bones were broken, including his back. He had 15 percent burns to his body and face and a spinal cord injury. "Even his fingers were falling off," said Ruth, his wife.
"He was in hospital for seven months and I made the round trip to the Royal North Shore Hospital to visit him every day.
"You can never prepare for something like that, but you realise you are emotionally capable of handling it. Maybe you don't know it, but you are.
"The children dealt with the situation but it was as hard on them as it was on me. They were, and are, close to their dad. They weren't scared or anything; they had to face him and see the injuries, especially his face.
"As a mother, when things like this happen to a family you feel that you have to be emotionally capable of handling it.
"You take on the role of carer, and trust that love brings you through. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for someone younger - without a family or a strong mature relationship.
"It is a battle but my advice to others is don't give up or take no for an answer. I didn't and I felt stronger when I fought to get what was needed."
Ross also had plenty of fight left in him and the one time carpenter enrolled and completed a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sydney as he recovered from his accident.
Today, he is an Executive Director of Access Arts in Brisbane , living out his passion for art and working with people with a disability in what he describes as a "dream job". Looking back over their family's journey Ross and Ruth say their collective experiences have been life changing, but certainly not all negative.
"Our values have changed," Ross said. "Now the small things are just that. We can handle little problems or incidents much better because of what we've been though as a family.
"For Ruth and I as a couple, our love has been enriched.
"We had already been together for 17 years when I had the accident. Our relationship was strong; we met the challenges together and grew through it. Perhaps if we had been younger when it happened, we wouldn't have coped as well as we did.
"If you have the goals and the will, you can get through together," he saidLast updated November 2007